Remembering Evan

We lost a very special young man and are mourning his death.  It's
been 14 days now, and as of yesterday I was finally able to write about
it.  Here's a poem I wrote for beautiful Evan Dante Gallegos.
We miss you, Evan.

Evan.

Full of life, fun, plans for the future,

tender care, laughter, exuberance,  love.

Always ready to help, generous,

Determined – tirelessly working with that difficult thing       

          coaxing the beauty from it.

Living life to the fullest,

Yet slowing down to be charmed by a grandma.

Full of love,

Evan.

Gone.

You left us.

You lived in the Light,

You walked in beauty,

But the dark plagued you

          and you were overcome.

Now you are gone.

And here we are.

Miserable, hollow, empty, tear stained, burdened.

Wait.  Quiet!

Your voice echoes –

I see your smile –

but when I turn, you are gone.

Oh, Evan, why did you do it?

Why?

You are gone, and we are full of ‘what ifs.’

          What if I had called,

          What if we had gotten together,

          What if I texted you,

          What if I answered your message,

          What if I looked into your eyes and asked you how you were,

                   and helped you fight your demons?

Too busy!

Too busy for what?

To care for God’s likeness?

Guilty!

Guilty.

No! We are not guilty!

That comes from another place!

‘What ifs’ matter not!

What we ARE is privileged to have known you.

We have danced in your beauty

          and are changed.

You changed us… forever.

Here I sit, silent tears streaming, watching eagles far above

          nurturing new life.

The sun warms me and life goes on.

People working, chatting, going on about their lives,

Pollen yellowing my car,

          all creation bursting forth.

Doesn’t this world know that you are gone

          and everything has changed?

How can they continue?

How can I continue?

I must.

You have changed me.

I have learned.

Yesterday I rose from my bed of tears

          to give love.

Each life I meet is precious,

          the artwork of God.

And in some way, great or small,

I will share with each one,

          as you did with me,

The riches of love, and beauty, and hope.

I conceived this on my bike ride on the morning of 3/20, and wrote
it down when I got home.  Later that day I edited it.  This morning 
around 4:00 a.m., I edited it twice and typed it out in an hour 
and a half.  This picture is Evan and my daughter, Melody.
We will never forget you, my young friend.